Nu ren,
Actually, theoritically speaking, I should not feel sad. After all, I have you. Im happy being with you. I like you, but why do I still feel sadness? Could it be that im tired? I didn't have enough sleep?
Why Am I sad? I can't find out the answer to that question. Sadness just come and goes. I do not know do you feel it too. Sometimes it comes, and sometimes it goes away. Come unexpectedly, yet, leave an impact behind.
Most of the times, I'll be alone to bear the pain. There is nothing I can do about it. It just comes and consume my whole being. Even if im sad, even if your there to sms with me, but it still stays on. What actually makes me sad?
That is a good question. Just maybe the feeling of unusefulness. I do not know how to say this. Its hard to explain using words, but there is the exsistance of the feeling. I do not want to have such feelings in me. I do not know whether am I describing it correctly. Is sad the word to use? Or is there another word to describe this feeling?
A lot of things can make me sad. But why do I feel that way? Why do i just swallow it down? Coz Im a man? How do other bfs do it? Why its it that everytime, I approve you to do smthing, there is always traces of bitter left behind? What is this?
Whatever is it, I know one thing for sure, Everytime when Im sad, I know, somewhere, there is my nu ren. Even though nu ren will not care bout me, but nu ren is still nu ren. My nu ren will forever be my admirer, like a famous super star poster one sticks in one room. Haha, I go to sleep first, tired...... Muacks!!! God, please protect my nu ren from harm, bless her, and may her be happy. Amen.
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u are scary sometimes...caz u know too well about me and yet i juz know a few things about u..this is so unfair! i'm glad tat u're being serious in this relationship... but the feeling u are sad is juz not consistent... do u know wat i mean? u are always thinking and worrying too much about things tat did not take place, the more u think of it, the sadder u get... i reali do not know how to comfort u. i dun wan u to think of me as a nuisance, i dun wanna bother u, i dun wanna be too busy-body, i dun wanna be tired by u, i dun wan u to suppress all ur feelings jz to make me happy... in short, i'm closely affected by u, we might be 2 diff unrelated individuals, but the times we been together and sharing have make our bond become stronger... therefore nan ren, if u do not mkae ur life easier, i will be suffering too. like i said b4, it will be double the times of troubles... caz i reali reali care about u and love u, nan ren.
i might say things u dun like or even hurt ur feelings, but i reali can't find any words to express how i feel... i'm juz being honest here. muacks!
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