Nu ren,
Im sad again, i can think off two things why i am sad.
1st, guess what, my skin desease is coming back. Im am really afraid to come near you now. I like to be near you, but, im afraid, afraid that you'll get it also. It coming back ,and its irritating. I do not like it. I did not ask for it, it was given (born) to me. Im afraid to tell you, coz im afriad that you'll leave me. I do not want to be alone to fight this myself.I want you to be by my side. Part of me wants tobelieve that you will not leave me, but another part says that you MIGHT leave me after i told you. Cz, last time, when i ask you that will you leave me when if i had skin disease, you said "See first." That answer was not a yes nor a no. But see first is more to yes. I cant believe what i heard, i was shock ed, but maintained my coolness. Inside, im breaking down. I wish you had not said it, but what to do, you said it. Now, im really worried, bout my skin disease and what should i do with it. Im soooooo down.......
2nd, we had skyped jus now. Being down, im even more downed now. I was hoping to be cheered up, but, hehe, getting non from you. I do hope that sometimes, you will be more enthusiastic about me. But some times, it is so cold. And now, im sad and cold inside. I do not know what to do. Argh, its all giving me a headache............. I DO NOT WANT TO THINK BOUT THIS!!!!
Tell you one small thing, a small secret, If you could be more like a girlfriend, where by, when seeing me, you will want to be with me, than, no matter whether am i down or not during that time, that would really cheer me up, heck, it would make all bfs happy. Haha. But i promised you, you do not have to change a thing for me to like you. I'll have to put up with you whatever your doing. Haha, and im doing my best.
It is just smthing that i want to leave off my chest. I love you dear. Nu ren!!!! Muacks.
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haiz~ nan ren nan ren~~ u're always thinking too much e... haha, on the contrary, ur nu ren is the simplified-type which makes life simple as possible~
regarding the skin disease, the response i gave was a truth, not lie. i do not want u to habour the feeling that i can accept any risks beng wif u when i'm not ready for anything. i'll help u and accompanying u to get thru ur difficulties ( tat's wat gf's for )but i can't guarantee tat i can always be tat optimistic... i am a human and a lady, i need assurance too. dun think ur nu ren is so superb tat she can handle anything.. tat's not true. tat is why i always tell u take care of urself n dun push urself too hard.. i wan u to be healthy and happy always... honestly, i reali dunno how to cheer up a guy.. especially when we're apart. i will kiss u to cheer u up and do anythg juz to make u feel better~ i will.... so dun hesitate to seek for ur nu ren's comfort... u are my precious nan ren afterall.
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