Its a raining night

Dear readers,

Had you ever been faced with a situation, where you know, the outcome is not what you wanted.

I remember a great man once said, "when a man wants something, the world will conspires him in achieving it" Guess who said it? I give you a clue, it's an author. I had finally felt this verse.

I know a girl, we've been together for 15 months. But, I do not know, should I let her go. Sometimes, letting her go seems like the right thing to do. But sometimes, it feels to be the wrong thing to do. There is no more signs from GOD to make my judgement upon. He is like telling me, I've to make this decision myself. Just like any other man would have to make a big decision once in his or her life and live up with it.

There is more to say, but it just hurts me even more. For I know, even before I walk into this tunnel, I know I might not see light unill I walked very far. But of course, I will always hope to see light. For hope is the only thing I can do now. I will lead the way, as a leader, and as a man and a father to be. I will not give up hope. For, as a leader, I will give hope to others.

But a man needs a women to support. As it dated back to the story of Adam and Eve. I too need the support of my NuRen. For my NuRen, wonderful memories we had shared. The promises that we had made that still puts a smile on our faces. But the world conspires us. Why? God? There is no easy way out of this. God of course will not forsaken us. To me, sometimes he play the role like the movie matrix. He knows what is going on. He gives us different roads or paths. Some easy, some hard. We can always choose which paths we want to make. For, he is still with us. But we have to live with the choices that we make.

For a couple is a foundation of the church. The Church is also our foundation. We hold so ever strongly in what we believe in. For God ask all wives to follow the men, and the men to love their wives with all their heart. God do not force couples to be together. But to find happinest and harmony in both, to glorify his name.

Sometimes, I fail to lift my problems up to God. As I wish to take it into my own hands, and try to solve it. Because, I feel that I can control what is in my hands. I want to take charge. But I do not know, will God let me take charge of my decisions. Why let us meet up and yet have to separate us? Why did you let us fall in love, meet each other during orientation? What are you trying to tell us? Do you want us to fight for our future? Did I not love her enought? Are we not meant for each other?

I have made plans with her. Wonderful plans. I had marked a date we are going to get married. We are going to have children, we will live happily together, we will go on holidays. We want to glorify your name, so why can't you make us feel safe when we are in your hands. Do you want our families to meet? Do they have to come together and come to an agreement? I feel we are meant for each other. Why is it unfair for the both of us.

I ask myself, Have I not proven myself enought to be with her? Do you want me to fill my bank account with money before I can have her? I am not blaming God, but asking why the world conspire me to get Yieng Shuang.

Dear readers, I would like hear your comments. Voice out your opinion. I do believe in God, I do not blame God. I love God. But sometimes, how do we know, we are making a right decision?

I enjoy voicing my opinion. I stil love her very much. Your cage is always open. You can choose to fly away or to come back to me. For I will be here, waiting for your return. You are the only partner I ever had, don't leave me alone.