What is the greatest posession....

Nu ren,

Nan ren really dun like to make Nu ren unhappy, or spoil a really good mood. That is why, Nan ren didn't tell Nu ren about this while we were chatting. I decided to leave it in my blog. This matter, pops up coz I saw a kenari today..... the story begins....

Ky came to my house today, with the white kenari he drove. It's really nice. We started to talk. Than I told him, is he willing to hear out my problems? Coz im going to spoilt the mood. Than he said say la, so i began.....

I said, Nu ren told me smthg before, "Ah Yap's car is sat wui, (yes indeed,is really nice, with blue neon lights, wuffer, cold air-con etc), and I (you) could sleep in his car."

Those words still hunts me till today. Ky was understandable, coz he said, he too will feel that way, if his gf also tell him that.

Haha, i told him, not that i dun like ah yap, or i dun like kenari, but looking at those things remind me of Nu ren's words.

Why Nan ren is down regarding the matter? We guys will feel inferior when another guy is better than us. Plus, is what we dun have, and makes our nu ren wow, which makes us we feel jealous. And plus, nu ren like it so much until you can sleep inside the car. Nu ren never said that nu ren can sleep inside my car.

What makes nan ren worst is that, nan ren is comparing. Nu ren don't said good things bout my car. Even when I first got it, u din comment much on it. I've admit, there is nothing to comment nice about it. Its just another 2nd hand car. How can it compare to a nice car. Its not that comfortable. Its just another ordinary car.

Nu ren never said bad things about my car, (except for my car is dirty, why aircon not cold, why here and there spoild de? hehe.) And nu ren also seldom say good things about my car. So Nu ren is in the center, no good and no bad. Just no comment.

Nan ren is jealous when nu ren make no comment on me, and comment alot on others. Say people nice things, handsome, smart, and even nice cars. Even though (what ive learn't nu ren personality is to say it once and mean it), but why other people Nu ren can repeat saying and commenting it? It just makes me feel sad when I starting to compare did nu ren too said the same things about me?

Why do i always want nu ren to praise me? Do I only wan to hear the good things? How many times had I been praised? Who says good things about me? I always say good things about nu ren. Not because, i want to make nu ren happy, or its my style, or my obligation. No, coz it come from my heart. And automatically I will say it.

My car is my car. I respect my car. I "love" my car. And I want others to treat it with respect too. When I see others ill treat my car, may it be my cushion seats, my car mats, or dirty my car, I feel hurt. Will you like it if I do the same thing to your car? Especially Ky, when he sit inside my car, somtimes he very rough de. use leg a, dirty my car, mess up my seat and mat. U don't see me do that to your camry. I treat u like how I wanted to be treated. I treat ur Camry as if it was mine. Many times I wanted to scold him, but I just kept quiet and close one eye. Even though my car is a lausy car, but to me, it means a lot, because its a gift by my father. I've never told anyone bout this feeling, first time revealing it to nu ren. But I really do love my cars, may it be old, but I still maintain it. For my father would want me to. Even though its dirty on the outside, but i still make sure I do not scratch or crash the car.

Nan ren is not sad. Just nothing to be happy about. Im not keeping hatred. And Ky thought that im revengeful. Im not, just a sense of feeling there, whereby it canot heal itself, but requires a another party to help heal it and mend it. Understand?

I asked ky, why. Why can't I be perfect? Why can't I have everything. Why can't I have money, a great car, a perfect person for my Shuang? Why can't I be there to do every activity she is doing? For everything she needs she can find me. No worries.

He answered me, coz im human and im not Jesus. I can't accept that. Why can't we be perfect? Why can't every1 is equal. Why there is always some1 better than us? Why can't we be equal? Will it be a dull place to live in, I dun think so, coz everything is equal. We live in happinest. No war.

Than he said to me. If this world is perfect, then we will be living in Heaven. (That is so true and makes so much sense.) He add, coz we are already perfect, we will not need heaven. We are already living in Heaven on Earth. That is why, there is no such thing as perfection unless you are God. Even though there is alot of people is better than I am, there is always someone else you are better to. (That is so true too.) and than, the most, BEST, you had is Michelle, coz u have her, and no one else do.

That is so true. U're my greatest posession. And you are mine. That makes me better than the one with the car, the one who is more handsome than me.....

Nan ren is not living in the past, but just that, nan ren dun like to loose, what other have, nan ren also must have it, especially if it makes nu ren wow.

What Ky said is true, and he said, he too will feel the same or even worst if he was in my shoes too. But its nothing. Coz than, nan ren think think, this is my nu ren. I've to accept her as who she are. She might not be the kind of girl that praises, or say the things I wan her to say, but at least, I still know what I love about her and why.

Nan ren will continue working hard. And look ever forward. Nu ren is my greatest possesion.

Ok, nan ren jz want to share this matter.

I've not yet posted what I wanted to post, about my sadness, coz its very long. And im not finish typing too. But I've found out the problem. I've known the problem all this while. So its ok now. Nan ren know what to do next!

I love you Yieng Shuang. I really do and I still do. chu....... Mmmuacks! I'm deeply madly in love with you!

XOXO