My dear beloved Yieng Shuang,
Sometimes, I wonder, is saying sorry mean anything. Is just a simple word, as Sorry, can
help? Cause sorry cant mend the hurt that Nu ren is feeling. Nu ren, besides saying sorry, i
cant express "my Sorry-ness" in another way. Maybe I've to think of better ways to
appologies to Nu Ren.
Why do I say this? Nan Ren was thinking. Nan Ren had registered with the program Gourami by
Shell. My dad really wants me to join and keeps on pastering me and asking me "had I signed
up for it." He will keep naging day and night, as if it was he who is very excited about it
too. Nan Ren is also quite interested in it. It's not an easy opportunity to come. And with
my dad's "motivation", i decided to join.
When I told Nu Ren, I know Nu Ren is very upsad. Disappointed. Nu Ren so wanting me to join the VCF camp. And we can join event together again! I too do not want to miss out all the fun. I'm so down.
Nan Ren is willing to pull out from the Gourami program and go with Nu Ren if it makes Nu
Ren happy. Nu Ren was also very looking forward to Nan Ren joining VCF camp. Nan Ren was also wanting to join. But one thing, that, if Nu Ren recall back, I was abit hesitant to agree with Nu Ren when Nu ren ask me to join... remember? Cause it will also mean that Nan Ren has to pay RM200. Nan Ren does not have that sum of money. Plus, it will be impossible to get it from my parents. Especially my dad, as he see religious things as a waste of time. But Nan Ren had gone to work to earn money, and yet again, it is not enough to cover and Nan Ren may end with no more money if Nan Ren join it.
I'm very sad now. Because of this. No words can express how sad am I, so I decided to blog
it out. I'm feeling so small. I do not know how to mention this to Nu Ren. Because all I can
say is Sorry to Nu Ren. Nan Ren do not know how to appologies to Nu Ren except by saying sorry. I think Nu Ren also hear sien liao, but sometimes, sorry is the only way for me to express my sincer applogy. I'm willing to hit my head to the wall if it will make Nu ren feel better. I'm so sorry...
Now, I'll only wish that I will not be selected for the Gourami program. My dad was also
very keen on me getting into the program. But lets pray that I do not get selected, Or i've
an exam during that period, haha. Than I can go with Nu Ren.
I had also oath that I will not join any event without Nu ren's knowledge. But I had break
it, joining the Gourami program without telling u first. Actually I had not join, its a long
story, But to keep it simple, i just had submitted my name, no actual registration had began. I now have to wait Curtin's call us to a meeting.... Wait wait, back to my story. But my dad also pastering me join, I also under his pressure to join it.
And the worst part was, It clashes with VCF's program.
Nu ren, im sorry, i truely am. If Im not able to go with Nu Ren to the VCF's camp, im sorry.
But if I can, Nu ren is really lucky. Let pray to God and let God's faith decide should Nan
ren go to which event.
But please accept my simple and sincer appology. I'll think if a better way to say i'm sorry. I love you Nu ren...... muacks (silently)
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1 comment:
hehe, silly nan ren~~ well, i was a bit upset bt then like wat u said, u might nt be able to come out wif the sum of money for d camp or even if u manage to get the money, u'll be short of money later... haha, we r students n i knw the limitations in financial matters... ^^ i am lucky caz my dad is willing to pay up for all me allowances bt for nan ren, it's different.
nan ren, i accept ur apology so dun overthink it , let God decides hw thgs r goin to be. hehe.
To my opinion, i thk tat u shuld listen to ur dad tat is to join d shell program. i reali hope tat u'll be selected as it is a good n rare opportunity.
nan ren i have my faith in u! muaks~~~~~
Go ahead n do wat ur heart tells u n wat God wans u to do. Juz remember tat i will always be by ur side.. i love you.
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