U suck, i suck even more

Nu ren,

You say that you suck in expressing your feelings. Nu ren, I suck even more. Why, coz when I'm sad, I don't express it out in words well. I don't express them at all.

What I'll do is, when im sad, I'll smile less often. But if during that particular time requires me to be cheerful, may it be in front of nu ren, in front of other ppl, I will smile, as if the thing has never happend before. Or in other words, putting up a mask.

Some of my friends, they say, although i do not express them, but you can see it from my face. My face will be very sour, or worried. I duno how do I look like when im worried or sad or even sour, maybe some day you can tell me nu ren, hehe. But they will always ask me why do i look so sad, i'll always smile and reply, got meh, when did i smile? My face is always like that a, moody or serious face. Hehe, just to escape their other questioning.

Why do i say i suck. Cz i cant do anything when im sad, when my heart hurts. I cant cry, coz if you wan me to cry, i cant force it out, i have to be in the zone at that moment cz really really sad, than can cry, if not i will not cry. If can't cry, than can do what? Shout? I cant shout, hit myself? You will not like it, so i do not hit myself^^. What else.

All i can do is to bury the pain in my heart, keep saying I love my S****G, my nu ren. And be alone in the corner somewhr, or in other words, in my garden, wishing you are there, for me to hug. I can only imagine you, hugging you, even though u not reply me, I will still happy.

Nu ren, I love you. Muacks. But im always learning, remember i said im not romantic, but im always learning, have to be romantic with my nu ren, make nu ren the most xin fu nu ren in the world!!!! Muacks!!!!!