Nu ren,
Nan ren is stupid, stupid stupid... dam stupid. So stupid until have to let nu ren ask can help her take her bag. Stupid stupid!!!! Feel like banging my head accross the wall. Stupid stupid stupid. Why am i so stupid. I'll just keep on saying stupid....... I'll never repeat the same mistake again.. stupid stupid!!!
Nu ren, actually im not really alright with the idea of you going out with another guy. Why i let you go. Coz, ive to let you go. I can't restrict you in socializing with other man. Sooner or later you have to, in assignments, or in future in working life. I just don't know how others do it. Im letting you go with a heavy heart. If I don't let you go, you will get bored, stupid nan ren again. I let you go have fun, but in the mean time, hurt myself so much in letting you go.
I'll always hope that and i believe that you will not cheat on me. Not because you told me before that you will not cheat me, but because I believe in you. I'll just have to comfort myself, saying everything will be alright. I'll constantly pray.
Nan ren is sad to see nu ren go with other guys. But as long as your happy, i'll be happy in my heart. Please take care. Im still learning to trust you. I can't say I thrust you 100%, but my thrust is just like gamble, im gambling, always hoping it would turn out my way. And it does. You know why i can't trust you fully. Maybe its because how you recognise me in front of your friends, how to treat me usually, not much assurance from you, how you hang out with me seem like your not having as much fun when your hanging out with your friends.
Nan ren have to learn to let go of nu ren, may it be a short while or a long period. Nan ren is very weak, especially concerning nu ren.
Im down right now, but the feeling will go away sooner or later, or being specific, after a good night rest. Sob sob sob, crying in my heart (graden), watering my flowers (heart), praying the day you'll come visit my garden again......
Mmmmuacks, i really really love you!!!
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nan ren, u dun have to bother about little things like carrying my bag~~ unless i ask u to. dun blame urself or say urself stupid, u're so adorable n cute n i like u sooo much!
haiz... i know you won't feel good if i'm hanging out wif otehr guys..tat's y i always go wif a group of frens or drag a girl fren along wif me.
i'm sorry tat i make u uneasy and worried... if u need assurance from me, i can tell you many times 'i love you'. but this isn't me, i dun reali say things like tat in front of u... i hope u will understand...since we have been together and known each other for one year or more... i can't stop myself from hanging out wif other guys juz the same i dun restrict u frm going out or chattin wif ur girl frens... i reali do trust u, nan ren. i dunno how to explain this but it's wat i learned from our relationship.
i'm madly in love with you but i seldom express it... caz i dun want u to take it for granted..caz one day, u might get too used wif me saying 'i love you'...
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